Well treatment 8 was the best so far. For journal reasons....I had this treatment on Sept. 27th.
We watched 17 again. Love this movie and Zac Efron is actually attractive in this movie.
Not only was the movie good, but my body felt good this time...and by good I mean better than the other treatments. Still wasn't myself and didn't have all my strength, but on my worst day I was up walking and eating! What a miracle! That never happens, I always just sleep and don't eat at all that day. I got pizza and ate 3 pieces! What!? I can't even eat that much when I feel good. Hope treatment 9 goes that smooth...which is today in about an hour :-p
My neuropathy wasn't too bad around this time. The Dr. gave me some medicine that helps with the pain that comes with neuropathy and helps it to not be permanent.
So I went and saw the movie 50/50 with my good friend Mindy. I went in knowing I would cry like a big baby. And I did. We both did. At one point I was sobbing! Luckily there was like 6 people including us, in the theater. The movie is about a 27 yr. old boy who gets cancer. (I'm 27). It was amazing how much I related to this movie....obviously. They did pretty dang good at this movie I'd have to say. They didn't really show the side effects of chemo, but that's not really too important. They did really good with the grieving stages though.
The stages are:
1. Denial. In the movie he denied it for a long time. Right off the bat he was like, nope, I don't. I don't know that I can relate to this so much. I didn't deny it, but it was pretty hard to take in. Like a nightmare. It didn't really sink in, until after a few treatments.
2. Anger. There was a part in the movie where he got super angry and completely broke down yelling and crying. I was definitely balling my eyes at this scene. I haven't ever gotten mad that I have cancer, but I've broken down crying several times...almost daily. It's still hard to take in, that I have cancer. It's still a nightmare I'm hoping to wake up from.
3. Bargaining. They didn't show this at all in the movie. I've never bargained with Heavenly Father. But I've prayed that He'll cure me. That I won't relapse. I DO want to be a better person, and serve/help people more. But I can't really bargain, cause I still have to finish my dang treatments :-) So maybe if I could bargain I would. But I can't.
4. Depression. In the movie he goes into depression. Like any cancer patient probably would. I definitely went into depression. I did write about this in an earlier post too. It was about after treatment 2 or 3 I think. I didn't care if I lived. I didn't want to kill myself, but I would have been ok to die.
5. Acceptance. In the movie he eventually comes to terms and wants to be happier and be a better person and accepts the fact that he's sick, and becomes a lot closer to his mom. I accepted the fact I have cancer right after I got super depressed. My priorities have changed so much. I miss my family even more and know that I have an awesome family, who is pretty close I'd say, and has a great time whenever we get together. I completely changed my attitude and wanted to fight and live to see the day that the Dr. says "you're cancer free"!!! I know this day will come and it's sooner than I feel it is. I pray and hope that's the news I'll get, and pray it NEVER EVER comes back. I want to live life again. Life is beautiful and full of amazing things. I want to have a family and teach my kids the gospel and to serve and be kind people.
Life is good.
Listen to this....Happy
The stages are:
1. Denial. In the movie he denied it for a long time. Right off the bat he was like, nope, I don't. I don't know that I can relate to this so much. I didn't deny it, but it was pretty hard to take in. Like a nightmare. It didn't really sink in, until after a few treatments.
2. Anger. There was a part in the movie where he got super angry and completely broke down yelling and crying. I was definitely balling my eyes at this scene. I haven't ever gotten mad that I have cancer, but I've broken down crying several times...almost daily. It's still hard to take in, that I have cancer. It's still a nightmare I'm hoping to wake up from.
3. Bargaining. They didn't show this at all in the movie. I've never bargained with Heavenly Father. But I've prayed that He'll cure me. That I won't relapse. I DO want to be a better person, and serve/help people more. But I can't really bargain, cause I still have to finish my dang treatments :-) So maybe if I could bargain I would. But I can't.
4. Depression. In the movie he goes into depression. Like any cancer patient probably would. I definitely went into depression. I did write about this in an earlier post too. It was about after treatment 2 or 3 I think. I didn't care if I lived. I didn't want to kill myself, but I would have been ok to die.
5. Acceptance. In the movie he eventually comes to terms and wants to be happier and be a better person and accepts the fact that he's sick, and becomes a lot closer to his mom. I accepted the fact I have cancer right after I got super depressed. My priorities have changed so much. I miss my family even more and know that I have an awesome family, who is pretty close I'd say, and has a great time whenever we get together. I completely changed my attitude and wanted to fight and live to see the day that the Dr. says "you're cancer free"!!! I know this day will come and it's sooner than I feel it is. I pray and hope that's the news I'll get, and pray it NEVER EVER comes back. I want to live life again. Life is beautiful and full of amazing things. I want to have a family and teach my kids the gospel and to serve and be kind people.
Life is good.
Listen to this....Happy
5 comments:
I love 17 again. Love it.
Your blog makes me so HAPPY!! I'm so glad you're feeling better and your treatment didn't get you down. We'd love to have you guys up for dinner sometime soon! Let me know what your schedule is in the next couple weeks 801-631-9031.
I might have cried a little just reading this post. If you want to go to the movie again, I will. Luke wants to watch it too ...
Boy do you know how to make people cry, ouchy. Your obvious strength is pure inspiration.
I went and saw that movie recently. It was an excellent movie. One I might need to see in the theater again.
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