How I'm feeling...

I get texts everyday asking "how are you feeling" and "how are you taking all of this?"

Well considering the fact I had major surgery, I'm feeling good. I don't have pain (until a wound change), just tired, I get wasted just walking around. I get my wound vac changed 3 days a week. It's almost guaranteed a bad day. It's so painful I cry my way through it. I usually just sleep the remaining part of the day. It's healing quickly, hopefully only another week hooked up to this machine, but still painful to change. It's crazy to look down and see a huge opening in my stomach! I'm pretty sure that's why my body is so tired, it's trying so hard to heal this open wound. I can only sleep flat on my back or completely up on my side. I can't really turn or curl up because it still hurts my stomach. I'm definitely moving around a lot better than at the hospital.

How am I taking all of this in? I'm not upset this is happening to me. I really don't know what to expect. It's hard to think I have cancer. When you hear someone say "my friends friends mom has cancer" I think it's sad but quickly move on. When I found out that my new sister in law's mom had cancer, I think it's sad, and think about it, cause I kinda know her. I have cancer. It's a completely different feeling. It's happening to me. My body is sick. My body  is going to continue to be sick. My body is going to go through a lot. I have no idea how things will work out but I know the Lord is on my side and will help us financially, emotionally and spiritually through this. I haven't cried much, at all. Does that make me weak or does that make me strong? I don't know. Honestly one of the hardest parts of having cancer is not the fact that I'm gonna have chemo, but the fact that I'm the primary insurance holder for both Brandon and I. I still have to work full time while doing chemo. Again, I have no idea how things will work out, but I'm stressing more over that I have to work more than the fact that I'm sick.
We meet up with Dr. Tutor (Oncologist) on June 1st. So we'll have lots more details then. Very nervous. And a follow up appointment with Dr. Lichti June 8th. We'll keep you all updated!

We continue to ask for your prayers. We also thank everyone for their prayers so far, we are definitely feeling the love!

We're still getting texts, emails etc asking how they can help...honestly, donating. Even if it's $5. Pass the word along. We love you all!